Honoring the spirit of Pride Month: what does it mean to be queer?

Relationships Jun 1, 2021

You've probably heard the term queer before. You might know a lot of people who identify as queer, or heard it used to describe someone or something — either positively or negatively. But what does it really mean to be queer? And how does it differ from lables like gay, trans or LGBTQ+?

Queer is not a label

Broadly speaking, queer is an umbrella term created for anyone outside of the heterosexual and cisgender norms. But depending on who you ask, you might get different definitions of queer, and that's because the word is intentionally vague. At its core, it's meant to be a broad rejection of labels for gender and sexual orientation.

So it's safe to say that if you're not straight but don't want to be categorized as gay either, you could describe yourself as queer. Or you can be attracted to both males and females and choose to introduce yourself as queer rather than bisexual. The point is to use queer when you want to avoid labels.

So is it related to sexuality or gender?

The short answer would be both, as queerness is intersectional. Someone may identify as queer because of their sexual identity (gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.) or because of their gender (transgender, non-binary, etc.)

We also need to understand that gender is a spectrum, and it's formed by two things. There is gender identity, which is how you identify yourself (woman, man, or other). There is gender expression, which is how you express and present yourself in terms of masculinity and femininity.

That being said, someone may be cisgender – gender identity matches the sex assigned at birth – but present themselves in several different ways, from more masculine to more feminine, or switch between the two at any given time. In this case, they can also fall under the queer umbrella.

It's also used as a community term

Besides being an identity, queer also creates community. The term is meant to empower and convey a sense of belonging, allowing community-building with those who don't subscribe to normative living standards. To many, queerness liberates them by showing them that living outside of society's mandates is healthy and valid.

Interestingly enough, the word queer holds a discriminatory history behind it. Back in the day, it was used negatively to reference homosexuals. Then, the LGBTQ+ community started reclaiming the word to have ownership and power over a term used to hurt them. Now, the use of the word is a celebration of their differences. However, there are still people who prefer to avoid it due to its past negative associations. It's a matter of personal preference.

The main flex of the term queer is its inclusivity. While most people are not familiar with acronyms like LGBTTQQIAAP or LGBTQ+ and can accidentally leave out letters, a word like queer already encompasses gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation. So if after learning this you feel you could be queer, go ahead and own it with pride.