How to recognize women's orgasm

Psychology Jul 22, 2022

How to recognize women’s orgasm

“Did you come?” If you have to ask, gents, it probably means she didn’t, and the reason is simple: it’s fairly easy to recognize women’s orgasms.

While porn can be great for arousal and general inspiration, it’s not so much for sexual education. Therefore, it must not be taken as the norm or accurate depiction of reality. That’s because traditional porn features mostly male fantasies, but lacks what actually helps women orgasm – playfulness, extended kissing, a full-body massage, cuddling, gentle hand jobs, and especially, lots of gentle cunnilingus.

Nonetheless, there’s a corner in the adult industry called live cams, which can actually be instructive. There you can watch real women using their hands or toys to have real orgasms, and live. You can also find couples, which in most cases are partners in real life – guarantee that they won’t need to fake the climax.

In any case, if you’re wondering how to tell if a woman has an orgasm, you should know that most female orgasms are pretty hard to miss, as they resemble men’s. So how do you know when a girl cums? Most of them start with fast breathing often accompanied by moans or gasps, followed by involuntary contractions of the muscles around the anus and vulva. Sometimes there might also be a jerky movement of the hips or the whole body involved. After, relaxation sets in.

Common misconceptions about female orgasm

There’s a popular belief that women must orgasm from penetration (Sigmund Freud didn’t help either with his famous claim that vaginal orgasm was the superior type), when in reality, most women can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

On top of that, we’ve also often heard that women need to be in love in order to climax. Since orgasm is a complex psychological and biological experience, it’s not the same for every woman. Some may need to feel love to orgasm and others may not. It always comes down to the individual.

Cracking the code: how to know if she came

Let’s decode the fine art of the female climax and how to know when a girl cums. If you want to know if your woman reached the big O, you just have to look for the biological hints. Signs she came include dilated pupils, a more lubricated vagina, and her being more relaxed and calm in general.

Look out for the “sex flush”

Ever notice your lady's skin turning rosy mid-action? Dr. Lauren Streicher, a prof at Northwestern University, says that it's all about the blood flow during sexy times. This "flushing effect" can more easily be spotted in girls with lighter skin or those who blush easily. Even her lady parts might show a shade darker as the grand finale approaches. It's like a fascinating heat map of pleasure.

The same physiological process responsible for the 'flushing effect' is known as vasodilation, which causes blood vessels to widen and allows more of the body's natural lubrication to occur. This explains why a woman may experience an increase in arousal during sexual activity – her body is redirecting more blood flow towards pleasurable areas and releasing chemicals that contribute to increased sensitivity. Additionally, this biological response can also help women reach orgasm faster due to enhanced nerve stimulation in those areas.

So how to know when a girl finishes? Look out for any redness in her skin; if it becomes flushed, you know you probably did something right.

All her muscles contract

There are other physical reactions that serve as signs she is having an orgasm, like the obvious visible tremors and body contractions. As she’s cruising towards that sweet peak, her muscles get all tense, and then contract they wanted to push something out. This is a hard one to fake, so if your girl is contracting her body, know you succeeded.

Whenever you start noticing her muscles getting tense, keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. However, if instead, she stops contracting her muscles and relaxes her body, it means she might be having trouble getting off, so in this case try a different technique until you find out what drives her nuts. If you have your fingers or your penis inside the vagina while its walls are contracting, you’ll be able to feel them. And the stronger the muscles are (hello, Kegel exercises) the better the ride.

Pay attention to her heartbeat and breath rate

Without any doubt, one of the most evident signs of climax for women is the intensifying of the heartbeat and breathing. When women are close to orgasm, they tend to start breathing quicker and more deeply. Then, during the orgasm, their heartbeat accelerates, and it only keeps increasing until after the climax, when it becomes normal again.

Watch her legs shake

Here’s what happens when a girl has an orgasm: she experiences an intense feeling during which she usually can’t control her limbs. Sometimes, her legs might do this wild shaky dance – pretty much a dead giveaway she's, ya know, having a good time.
Turns out, it's all because her heart's racing like crazy leading up to the big O, making her feel kinda like when we're scared, like that heart-pounding, trembling vibe. Blame it on her muscles getting all worked up just before she hits cloud nine.

The moans get louder

Ahhh, the sweet sound of her escalating moans… That’s usually a good sign that you’re rocking it in the boudoir, especially if they start getting louder and louder. But just remember that every woman is unique and some might be more vocal, while others could be enjoying themselves in peaceful silence.

However, let’s also not forget that according to surveys, 68% of women fake orgasms by fake moaning, so if her moans are the only signal you’re picking up on, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for other signs that she’s genuinely loving it.

Fun fact: when a woman reaches the peak of pleasure, her body unleashes the “cuddle hormone” aka oxytocin. It’s like a magical potion that strengthens bonds, sparks affection, and rings out her inner Mama Bear. So if your lady is all about snuggling and cuddling after doing the deed, it might be prompted by the release of oxytocin, which would mean that she did reach orgasm.

Female orgasm during intercourse

As previously mentioned, the old in-out method doesn’t offer much stimulation to the clitoris, so it might not trigger most women’s orgasm. However, if you want your woman to come during intercourse, there are three positions that can help you with that, as they enable direct clitoral massage.

  • Cowgirl: when the woman is on top, she can reach down to her clit and caress it using her hand or a vibrator.
  • All four: she’s on her hands or elbows and knees, and you take the rear entry. The balls will naturally hit the clit during this doggy style, serving as stimulation. The woman can also reach between her legs and rub her clit or use a vibrator.
  • Spooning: her back should be to your chest, and your hands free to massage her clit. She can also do it herself.

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Eva

Hey! I’m Eva and I am always ready to help you! I also supervise some activities that take place on the site. I love being part of our exceptional tribe and working with such an awesome team!

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