How to talk dirty in bed: sexual talk examples, tips & ideas

Navigating the terrain of sexual talk in the bedroom can be an intimidating feat for many. Despite its tantalizing power to send temperatures soaring, one might feel hesitant to try due to lack of knowledge or fear of saying something too outrageous - or worse - not risqué enough. But it doesn't have to remain a mystery. If approached correctly, unleashing your inner vixen (or rogue!) through naughty words and phrases is surefire way rev up any night between the sheets.

How to talk dirty to your partner and get them all aroused? The key to successfully talking dirty is communication. It's important to establish boundaries with your partner before engaging in any type of lascivious conversation; being clear about what you are and are not comfortable discussing will make the experience that much more enjoyable. This can be done by setting out verbal ground rules between each other beforehand such as agreeing on certain topics or language that you are both comfortable with. Once these boundaries have been established, you can then move on to exploring different types of naughty banter and sexual innuendos without worrying about crossing any lines.

It's best to start off small and work your way up from there as you become more comfortable with each other. One of the best dirty talk tips is lighthearted pillow conversation. This is the perfect place to begin - from there, you can gradually introduce more explicit language as things progress in intensity – but remember: always take care not to go too far and overstep any previously agreed upon limits! Be creative as well; dirty banter can be both fun and exciting if done tastefully so don’t be afraid to inject a bit of humor into your dialogue or improvise with some personal stories from past experiences.

When it comes down to it, there are no hard and fast rules on how to do dirty talk — just use whatever language comes naturally. Whether it is lighthearted pillow talk or daringly bold phrases, let yourself go wild and explore all possibilities. Don't be shy! Sexy terms like “honey” and “darling” can add extra spice while also keeping things romantic. Conversely, risqué expressions like “ride me” or “kiss my neck” can instantly heat things up between the sheets and be good dirty talk examples. Additionally, how to dirty talk if not with body language as a complement? Nonverbal cues like moaning, heavy breathing, and touches can be just as effective at expressing your desires as anything verbalistic.

Tips on dirty talking

Say what you want and what you like…

…But know when. Let me explain; before sex, you must say what you want, and during sex, you must say what you like.

When using dirty talk, a good rule of thumb is to first inform your partner what you want to do to or with them before you actually do it, and then, as you're doing it, describe explicitly what you appreciate about it.

The importance of this increases if your spouse is a woman. The imagination is frequently employed to stimulate women in particular. Because of this, erotic literature like 50 Shades of Gray is a notorious bestseller among female readers. In the meantime, men comprise the majority of porn users since their arousal is more directly triggered by visual stimuli.

A guy's water can go from Lake Placid to full-on tsunami in a couple of seconds, but a woman's can take a bit longer to get boiling.

This is partially due to the differences in wiring between men and women. When it comes to sexual desire, men are more focused on one thing, but women can hold multiple thoughts simultaneously.

You need to grab her interest and drown out any other thoughts she may be having with a more potent, seductive signal. If you do, she'll be much more open to having an intimate encounter because those fluids will start to flow.

For instance, you might be with a woman who has a moderately high sex drive but who only seems to get sexy when she's "in the mood," and you're never sure when that is. The answer? Dirty talk.

If you can manage to lead her to climax with your sex talk before you ever place a hand on her shoulder… then you’re a black belt lover.

It all comes down to what you are truly craving at the time or what is making you feel turned on, but it can sound something like this: "I'm trying to finish up some work right now, but I can't stop thinking about last week when we were 69'ing and your mouth-watering juices were running into mine." A remark like that will likely send them over the brink and provoke an attack on you.

A fantastic technique to ease into a more verbal sex session is to make any comment about what you have loved doing with them in the past or what you hope to do with them in the future.

Give your spouse real-time comments on what you're loving while you're having fun. In addition to making your sexual play more of a multi-sensory experience, it's a terrific technique to get them to give you more of that thing.

Describe what you’re doing

If you've never discussed anything with your partner before and you're just starting off, you should start simple and see how they respond. A simple method to accomplish that? Just state what you're doing with them or what you wish to do. (Just be careful not to sound overly clinical. This is a wonderful method to irritate your partner rather than taking them to the doctor, unless that is their fantasy).

This is a tried-and-true method for having sex over the phone, but it may also be seductive to use when you're already engaged in real-life sex. If you're too shy to introduce yourself in person, try texting first. Wait for the dot to appear, then dive in. The thing that can cause the most concern is that. Refrain from saying anything like, "LOL jk," "wrong text," or "my friend snatched my phone" when your spouse is typing unless they are typing and stopping or going black. Give them an opportunity to think of a response that is just as titillating.

Utilize all your senses

Here’s how to get better at dirty talk: start using multi-sensory descriptive words to increase your dirty talk's strength and sexiness, captivating quality right away.

The two main sensations that most people use during dirty talking are sight and touch (e.g., "You look so hot/You feel so fantastic").

Although there's nothing wrong with maintaining within the bounds of these two primary sexual senses, there's so much fun to be had by using your creative mind in a more imaginative way.

Here are a few dirty talk ideas that use multi-sensory descriptions:

• I love the way you smell/taste. I want to get drunk off of your scent/juices.
• Baby, I like the sounds you make, they turn me on.
• You sound extremely sexy when you’re giving me head.
• I want to feel your dick pulsing inside of me.

If you don’t feel confident enough, start via text

If you're particularly apprehensive while starting your venture into verbalized dirty talk, sending your partner some naughty text messages and seeing their reaction is an excellent method to gauge the situation (and get more at ease).

You'll feel lot safer and more at ease to communicate your dirty thoughts in person once your mind has evidence that they like it and encourage you to do so.

Additionally, sexy texts are the ideal technique to intensify the chemistry on dates or maintain it already present.

Be careful with using too much profanity

Dirty talking during sex shouldn’t include too much profanity in case that’s a turn-off for your parter.

Everybody has specific trigger words that make them uncomfortable. Some people love to use profanity in their dirty talk, while others detest it.

Others like the coarser street vocabulary, while some prefer their dirty talk to contain very clinical descriptions of their genitalia (penis, vagina) (cock, pussy, dick, cunt, etc.).

Some people prefer the term "my whore," while others prefer "you whore," and still others would never tolerate the term "whore" being used in any way during a sexual encounter.

Be careful to ask your partner (outside of the bedroom, when you aren't engaged in sexual activity together) if there are any words they would like you to keep out of your dirty language.

And no, checking in with them doesn't detract from the allure of your nasty banter. It's a token of deference. The same respect that prompts you to inquire about whether your spouse prefers softer or harder stimulation for their penis or clitoris. Checking in doesn't make you feel bad; on the contrary, it makes you feel safer, cozier, and more connected.

Dare to take the leap into the unknown

Just by considering uttering any of these things out, you may have already felt some internal tension develop while you read this.

The sheer act of opening your mouth and letting these words escape can initially feel precarious, like you're perched on the precipice.

That paralyzing sense of risk, which is most frequently brought on by the fear of the other person's disapproval, can be made worse by having grown up in a religiously or sexually conservative family or community.

Your mind becomes paralyzed because it believes it is dangerous for you to go there and it wants to protect you from making a mistake and damaging your partner's good impression of you.

If you have this aversion, you should first create a comfortable environment for discussing dirty things with your spouse before actually doing so.

Share with them your desire to add some dirty language to the conversation but your reluctance and shyness to do so. Describe your goals and the reasons behind them. Make a pact with each other to take chances and accept one another regardless of what is said. Give each other complete freedom to try new things without feeling guilty for the sake of your relationship.

The first conversation is a fantastic time to discuss your turn-ons, turn-offs, and boundaries regarding dirty talk.

However, even after having this conversation and knowing that it is safe to jump, your mind will still work to prevent you from going forward into the unknown.

Breathe if you find yourself in such situation. Observe your partner's eyes. Keep in mind the approval they granted you. Keep in mind how much they care for you and how much you can rely on them. As a giant "fuck you" to the irrational part of your brain that wants to hold you back and prevent you from being fully expressed, thoroughly seen, and truly loved, break through the block in your throat.

Bottom line

At the end of the day, everyone has different preferences when it comes to dirty talk — so go forth bravely into this new realm with confidence: after all, sexy banter has no limits when you know how far you're comfortable taking things! Experimenting with various approaches will help you find something that works best for both partners; whether that means exploring traditional wording or developing an entirely new lexicon based on personal experiences, do whatever makes you feel most comfortable expressing yourself in a safe, respectful environment. After all - communication is key in any intimate relationship - so why not have some fun with it? Furthermore, if at any point either party feels uncomfortable with anything being said during their encounter they should feel free communicate this immediately so that situation does not cross into unwelcome territory – because ultimately mutual respect is key for creating an enjoyable experience for both parties involved.

Finally remember – communication is key in any intimate relationship - so why not have some fun with it? Go ahead and get adventurous– who knows? You may even learn something new about yourself along the way!

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