I Want to See My Wife Have Sex With Another Man. How Do I Ask Her? - Nicoletta von Heidegger

During her session, one participant expressed an interest in sharing his wife with other men, such as in a cuckold or hotwifing fantasy, but was afraid she might fall in love with them and leave him. He struggled with how to communicate this.

First, I would want to know how your relationship is doing? As a human being, it’s totally natural to want to find sexual gratification with other people. Has there been any indication that the person you’re with is potentially unhappy with the relationship? Has there been indication that they might leave and be with somebody else? What’s really important, if you’re deciding to open up your relationship, is to talk a lot about it first and to make sure that your communication with your partner is really strong and that you feel like you both are respecting each other’s boundaries.

You can’t control someone else’s emotions. They may start develop feelings for somebody else that they have sex with and then that doesn’t mean they’re immediately going to leave or they won’t love you anymore or they will love this person differently. But it might mean that you have to check in and talk about it.

What do we say to each other if we want to get out of this situation? Or we want this person to leave? Where would we want to have this sex experience? Would it be in our house? Would it be in a neutral place? What do we do if one of us feels uncomfortable? Do we have a safe word so that one of us can get out — no explanation needed. What kind of person do you want to include? Is it somebody that you have met before that maybe you know and trust and have a friendship with or is it a total stranger?

Another thing I think is to figure out the boundaries of how you want to communicate with this person that you might want to include in the relationship. So do you agree that you only group text each other when you’re planning for this cuckolding fantasy, or do you say that only she can talk to this person?

So I think there’s a lot to think about before you plan it. And I know maybe it doesn’t sound super sexy to have conversations before you like get on with your fantasy. But I think taking the extra time and the extra energy a little bit before will really give you a better chance of success in the situation. And I don’t mean success like you’re going to love it, but that you two will come out of it stronger, and able to process the situation.

*Transcription edited and condensed for space and clarity. For full answer, watch the full video

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