Mutual Masturbation: what it is, tips, ideas & techniques

We all masturbate, and if anyone says they don’t, they’re clearly lying. Touching yourself is undeniably hot, so just imagine how much sexier it would be to do it with someone. This is called mutual masturbation, and it’s all about exploring those intimate moments with your partner. Whatever your solo kink is, this one won’t disappoint you.

Mutual masturbation can take on many different forms, so why not add some spice to the mix? Whether you’re taking turns letting each other watch or getting frisky together both at once, it'll undoubtedly up the ante and bring your sexy times to a whole new level of heat.

What is mutual masturbation and why it’s a great idea

Mutual masturbation can be an incredibly intimate and thrilling experience to explore with your partner. Not only does it offer a unique opportunity for heightened pleasure and more sensual exploration, but it also allows for real-time feedback on each other's likes and dislikes. Plus, there are plenty of ways that you can experiment with different techniques for mutual masturbation. Whether you prefer the traditional "watching each other" approach or want to go further and engage in simultaneous play, the possibilities are endless.

For starters, one of the biggest benefits of mutual masturbation is that it reduces the feeling of performance pressure. There's no competition between partners; you don't have to worry about performing perfectly every time or assuming a certain role. Instead, both partners are free to simply enjoy exploring their own bodies and those of their partner without comparison.

On top of that, mutual masturbation can also provide an extra layer of intimacy in your relationship. Watching someone pleasure themselves is incredibly personal, and it can help both parties get to know each other better on an emotional level as well as a physical one. Not only do you get to see what turns them on most, but you’re also able to learn more about how they like to be touched and just how far they’re willing to take things!.

How to do mutual masturbation?

1. Bring it up casually

It's time to run the concept by your partner before you start. As with any erotic experience that piques interest, it’s good if you start with a dialogue. This way, you and your partner can be forthright and honest about what you both need and desire from the experience, or even if you both want to attempt it at all.

Answer question like what partner masturbation looks like to you, or if it would bring the two of you closer. For instance, a couple that lives apart might look to partnered solo play as a way to develop emotional intimacy, whereas a couple that has various degrees of libido might be searching for strategies to make sure each partner enjoys themselves.

If you still don’t know how to bring up the subject, you can turn to ethical porn, sex workshops, or even erotic card decks as helpful convo starters to pave the way to introduce the topic of interest.

And speaking of communication, this will be key when engaging in mutual self pleasure — this isn't just about two people pleasuring themselves independently of one another; it's an opportunity to work together towards something even greater than individual gratification. Make sure that both partners feel comfortable enough discussing fantasies and setting boundaries beforehand so that everyone knows what they're getting into before taking part in any sexual activity. This will help ensure that everyone gets optimal enjoyment out of the experience while still being mindful of safety protocols like using proper protection during any shared touch or fluid exchange.

2. Set the tone and the scene

After agreeing on the main elements that mutual masturbation involves, it’s time to think about the environment and surroundings. Create an environment that appeals to all of your senses to have that full-bodied experience, including romantic music, vanilla and sandalwood-scented candles, and gentle mood lighting if that floats your boat. Wherever you are, just make sure that you are in a comfortable and safe environment where you can both relax.

Take a moment to breathe and look each other in the eyes to establish a connection before you begin stripping. How about telling your lover exactly what you appreciate about what you see while you're there? That would be a great way to kick off the mutual touching session.

3. Include sex toys in the equation

Sex toys can be a great third wheel that will depend the pleasure of mutual masturbation. It’s important, however, to choose the right toys and lubricants for you. Just use anything that helps you stimulate and prepare your body for arousal and potential orgasms.

One of the best parts of mutual masturbation with partner, is that the risk of STIs is drastically reduced, but still, where there is partnered sexual activity, there is danger, so remember to clean your toys as soon as you pull them out of the box and after playing with them. Additionally, avoid exchanging toys with your partner unless a condom is covering them.

4. Experiment different positions

Investigate what you're craving at that very moment, whether it's extra cuddling, anal stimulation, or intense eye contact. For the ultimate tease, think about whether you prefer to sit close together, across from each other, or on opposite sides of the room. And how about body position? Would you rather have your legs spread out or bowed at the knees? All of those are things to think about and experiment with.

During mutual masturbation, the traditional "69" can be very effective. In this position, one partner rests on their back while the other lies on top facing the other direction. This enables simultaneous access to and stimulation of each partner's genital parts. Alternately, you can please each other one at a time by taking turns.

The view will be more sexy for your spouse if you explore more of your body than you typically would, and at the same time, it may feel as amazing for you. You might also alter your positions so that your spouse can see you from a different perspective. For instance, you could start out lying next to one another and then switch to sitting on the other person's chest. The secret? Finding a position that feels fantastic for you and allows you to see your spouse well. That will be the best mutual masturbation position.

5. Don’t forget eye contact

Mutual masturbation techniques won’t unfold their power without some eye contact from time to time.

Maintaining eye contact is another way to foster intimacy and raise the temperature of the situation. People may desire to look at one another while masturbating or stare into the same mirror so they can see both themselves and their partner.

6. Try virtual sex

Masturbation with partner doesn’t necessarily have to be IRL. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, mutual masturbation is also for you! Thankfully for all of us, technologies developed to the point where you can masturbate virtually with your partner through a screen. In fact, you’re welcome to try masturbating with partner via phone, video or text, even if you’re not a long-distance couple.

Ahead of the hot session, make sure the audio is on, gadgets are charged, and notifications are turned off, much like you do before Zoom presentations at work. It would be a tremendous buzzkill to get smacked with the buffer right when the orgasm is occurring.

Naturally, you should have a direct conversation about consent with your (trusted!) partner before posting your private sex life online. This conversation should cover both the masturbation itself as well as the filming and storage of the photos and videos.

Whether you're a novice or an experienced video sex-er, there are endless possibilities when it comes to getting creative with the camera. Different angles and techniques can be used to enhance your experience. For example, shooting from slightly above is always flattering as this angle elongates features and helps create a more aesthetically pleasing image. You could also experiment with positioning the lens just slightly higher than your body for added effect.

Another option is to let your face do the talking; facial expressions can be powerful tools in creating a seductive atmosphere. With just enough imagination, you could craft a scene that will tantalize and titillate. To achieve this effect, you might want to consider setting up the lighting in a way that brings out your best features; soft lighting is often best for creating a sexy mood. Additionally, taking your time and making sure that each movement is intentional will help bring out the desired emotion in each shot.

It's also important to remember that everyone has their own unique style when it comes to video sexing. Allowing yourself to explore what works best for you — your body language and gestures — will help create an atmosphere of comfort and confidence which can then be channeled through the lens of the camera. Keep experimenting with different angles, positions, lighting and movement until you find what looks best for you, then go ahead and own it.

7. Be ready to laugh it off

When you masturbate with someone, get loose and show them what you enjoy or hope for next. And if something awkward comes up? Don't be afraid to laugh it off! Laughter is one of the best ways to reduce tension during any situation - especially when it comes to exploring intimacy with someone new or different than yourself. It can also serve as a reminder that both partners are in this together and that neither one should take themselves too seriously. Just don't forget to remain conscious of each other's boundaries at all times, no matter how much fun you're having!

Finally, one of the most important mutual masturbation tips: don’t forget to have fun! Mutual masturbation doesn't need to feel like a chore; keep things lighthearted by introducing new elements like props (e.g., lubricant or vibrators) or incorporating elements from other genres (e.g., BDSM). Whatever you decide upon make sure that it’s something both partners are game for — because when done right, mutual masturbation is bound to bring your sexy times up a few notches higher!

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