My Partner is Jealous of My Cam Viewing. Do I Have to Stop?

What happens when a wife you love finds out about your cam habit — and is jealous? Von Heidegger confronts one of the most difficult conversations for a married cam fan: Either the cam goes … or she does.*

I would ask yourself, “Is this a hard limit? Do you need camming in your life? If you don’t have it, what would that be like for you? What’s made it difficult for you to not use it or to stay away?”

I feel a little mixed about that. Because I don’t want to encourage anyone to not do something that feels right or authentic to them, but clearly it’s causing us stress and tension in your relationship. So I would ask her, “What is she uncomfortable with about it? What is she worried about? Is she worried that you’ll meet somebody else? Is she worried that, yeah you won’t love her as much?”

I think that’s really tough because you’re not going to get everything you want from one person. That might not be something that she’s okay with. So if she says, “It’s a hard limit for me that you do not use cam sites.” That might be a bit of a tricky situation. Because then you have to decide “Is this a deal breaker for me?”

I think it might be interesting to ask yourself, what is it about the camming that maybe has you bring something back to the relationship — as opposed to seeing it as a threat that’s taking something away from the relationship? Does it give you more energy? Does it give you practice to talk about the things that you like? Is it just offering you more diversity? That’s not something that you’ve been getting. You said you’ve been dating each other since you were little. I get that it’s hard to maintain the newness and the spiciness over time. You just can’t recreate that newness. So it’s understandable that that’s what you might be looking for. But if that’s a hard limit for your partner. You may have to decide, is that going to work for you?

*Transcription edited and condensed for space and clarity. For full answer, watch the full video

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