Outercourse sex: what is it and how to practice it?

Fetishes Nov 11, 2022

Against popular phallocentric belief, not all sex involves penis-in-vagina action. There’s more to the old in-out, and that “more” is what we would call outercourse. Outercourse is a term used to encompass any kind of non-penetrative sexual play. Think of hand jobs, cunnilingus, nipple stimulation, etc. However, we must make a clarification; just like with any other broad definition, it can mean different things for different people. Some consider anything that it’s not penis-in-vagina sex outer outercourse (so that would include vaginal fingering, for example). But others define outercourse more strictly as only those sexual acts that don’t involve any type of penetration whatsoever.

What counts as outercourse?

Kissing

Don’t make the mistake of underestimating the power of a kiss. Getting hot and heavy with your mouths can be very erotic and fun at the same time. On the other hand, kissing different parts of your partner’s body is a great way to discover what turns them on.

Dry humping

Dry humping is the act of rubbing your genitals against your partner’s, usually with clothes still on, and no, it’s not just for teenagers. Grinding your intimate parts against your partner can be pleasurable at any age – someone rubbing their dick between their partner’s thighs or butt cheeks also falls into the category of dry hump.

Massage

Given the right circumstances, a massage can be pretty erotic, and the best way to hot things up. Stroking and rubbing your partner’s body with your bare hands can be a very sexy form of outercourse.

Masturbating

Solo masturbation as well as mutual masturbation is considered outercourse, especially if we’re talking about handjobs. But when it comes to fingering for example, as previously discussed, some people may view it as outercourse while others might see it as intercourse instead.

Oral sex

Cunnilingus, blowjobs and rimming are all outercourse friendly activities that you can do with your partner if you don’t want to engage in penetration.

Vibrators

Vibrators are perfect if you want to reach orgasm without penetration or anyone touching you in general. You can apply it to your clitoris, cock, nipples, or even perineum and just buzz away.

Benefits of outercourse

1. Takes pressure off penetration

For a long time, penetrative sex was viewed as the only type of “valid” sex, therefore making penises the main source of pleasure. Conversely, outercourse decenters penetration and teaches us other ways to have orgasms.So size didn’t matter that much after all…

2. Lowers the risk for pregnancy

One would think that no intercourse, no pregnancy, however, it doesn’t work like that. Pregnancy can still happen if dripping semen accidentally makes contact with the vulva, and then the vagina, for example. But still, chances of getting pregnant are way less than with traditional intercourse, which in turn contributes to being able to enjoy intimacy with less stressors.

3. Teaches you about your body and what you like

Outercourse gives you room to learn about what you like and what you don’t. With assumptions about penis-in-vagina = sex out of the picture, it’s easier for people to explore what really gives them pleasure.

Bottom line

If you’re still wondering “what’s the point?“, let me give you some scenarios where outercourse comes in handy.

When you or your partner are not interested or ready yet for sex.
When you’re on your period and want to avoid having sex.
When you want to avoid pregnancy risk during your or your partner’s fertile days.
When you want to spice up things in bed and try something new.
When you don’t have protection because you forgot to take your birth control or forgot to bring condoms.
When you or your partner feels pain during penetration due to a health condition or trauma.
When you want to get to know your body better.
When you want to make the most out of foreplay before intercourse.

Exploring outercourse has been proven to better intimacy, even for people who still practice intercourse. So regardless of your reasons for trying it, have fun exploring outercourse, discover what sensuality means to you and focus on different types of pleasure.

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