Unraveling the mysteries of BDSM: dominant and submissive types

Psychology Jun 16, 2021

BDSM is a whole world of its own. Those who are not familiar with it might be easily lost with all the terminology and intimidating vocabulary. If we break it down to the basics, the term BDSM is used to describe specific aspects of sex that involve bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism – the core pillars of kinky fun.

All of these practices revolve around the dominant/submissive dynamic, and just like with personal relationships, in BDSM there are also different types of dom/sub relationships which come down to the type of dominants and submissives. Dominants are those who take external control in the relationship whereas submissives are the ones who submit themselves to that external control.

Types of dominants

1. Master/mistress

In BDSM, a master or mistress has some sort of ownership over the sub’s body, often treated as a slave. They also control all other aspects of their sub’s life, and might even expect them to ask permission to do some mundane acts such as eating or going to the bathroom.

2. Dom/domme

The main thing when it comes to a dom or domme is that they will never follow instructions given by anyone. Therefore, they wouldn’t perform any sexual act on anyone, but rather give the sub orders or instruct them to perform the act on them.

3. Daddy/mommy

Before you fret, the daddy or mommy dominant role has nothing to do with underage people or incest fantasies. It’s just a type of dom that’s nurturing and protective of their “little”, who might adopt a more childish role. Mommies and daddies get off on punishing, rewarding and spoiling their sub.

Types of submissives

1. Slave

A slave is someone who gives their will entirely to their master/mistress or owner. The boundaries are set by their dom, and they might have a contract outlining the desires, expectations and limits of both parties. These can include sexual activities, but also other things related to clothing, diet, routines, and duties.

2. Pet

A pet is a submissive who enjoys playing the role of an animal to their dom. Pet play can involve costumes and accessories such as collars, leashes, tails, etc. In expert level, masters may restrain their pet by keeping them in cages or forcing them to use litter boxes. However, entry-level pet play might simply include crawling on all four, being petted, or imitating the sounds of the animal.

3. Sissymaid

This one is a male who willingly assumes a female role, dressing as a maid, and takes on tasks traditionally assigned to women, which might be sexual or not.

4. Brat

A brat is a person who enjoys being put in their place rather than submitting easily. They like to misbehave and talk back as a way of provoking their dom into heavier play.

5. Good girl/good boy

This type of submissive is the one that worships their daddy/mommy dom and will do anything to please them. In return, the daddy or mommy will discipline them when needed.

6. Princess

A princess is a woman who loves to be cared for and pampered. This type of sub differs from the rest in that she’s willing to submit and serve, but only if she gets what she really wants. In return, at night she becomes naughty to fulfil all her dom’s sexual desires and she enjoys every second of it.